Dear Amy: Have the standards of business ethics changed in recent years?
I have gone to several job interviews, with zero follow-up from the employer or the recruiter who set up the interview.
These are situations where the employer contacted me and asked me to come in for the interview, telling me, “We’ll get back to you.”
I had two interviews recently which went well, I thought, but I never heard from them again. I even called to follow up — my calls went to voicemail, of course — and still no phone call, email or letter.
I wish businesses would realize that when they do this, it leaves people with bad feelings about them, and we tell our friends. A rejection is fine, but a polite message back, such as: “Thank you for spending your time with us, however, we have selected another candidate” would bring closure to the process.
Is it now OK to just blow off the person you asked to come in for an interview? — Ignored
Dear Ignored: Business ethics have not changed. Hiring practices have changed, however.
One frustration for current job seekers is how communication with recruiters and employers seems to flow in one direction, controlled by the employer. When a (often off-site) recruiter sets up an interview, the only contact information you have is the recruiter’s — not that of the person who is conducting the interview.
Savvy job seekers conclude an in-person or Skype interview by asking, “Could you share your email address with me so I can follow up to thank you?”
If the manager chooses to share an email address, you can keep in touch directly.
A good recruiter will contact you after an interview, even if it is to tell you that you won’t be hired.
To conduct an effective job search, you should be using all of the social networking tools available to contact potential employers — not only via voice call, email, or letter.
Glassdoor.com offers ways for you to receive — and leave — anonymous feedback about the hiring process with a specific company.
Dear Amy: In high school, I had a boyfriend who was addicted to cocaine. He became very mentally, physically, and sexually abusive.
My best friend at the time knew him, but she knew nothing about what was happening in the relationship.
After leaving the relationship with the boyfriend, I ended up going to a mental hospital.
While I was hospitalized, she and I reconnected. I told her all about this abuse. She is very aware of the physical and psychological scars I still have.
Recently, I became aware that she’s been hanging out with him more often in their friend group. She knows everything that he did to me and still chooses to hang out with him.
I know I am being a little harsh, but I don’t want to be around her or even talk to her because I don’t want her telling him anything about me and my current boyfriend or our lives (when I was with him, this monster had me and family members in fear for our safety).
Should I try to talk to her about this? Is it OK to just walk away from her because of this?
Should I be going about this differently? — Upset
Dear Upset: Your duty is to take care of yourself, and you seem to have done an admirable job.
Loyal friends will quite naturally not want to maintain a close friendship with an individual who has abused a friend.
Of course, it is possible that the man who abused you has cleaned up his act and changed in a dramatic way, but you should not risk your own well-being by testing this possibility.
You are wise to keep your distance from the person who abused you, as well as anyone else who is connected to him. You don’t need to spend your own valuable emotional bandwidth trying to assess this situation from every angle — you need only to protect yourself, and — in this case, the best way to protect yourself is to keep your distance.
Dear Amy: “A Very Concerned Son” became alarmed when his mother kept repeating herself during a phone call. Slurred speech and repeating yourself can be signs of severe dehydration. My mother’s doctor told me I had helped to save her life by noticing her slurred speech during a phone call. — Grateful
Dear Grateful: Sometimes, these changes are more evident when speaking over the phone. I’ve heard from several readers with similar stories.