Dear Amy: My husband and I got a new puppy when she was about 10 months old.
She likes sleeping on the bed with us, but sometimes jumps off and goes into her crate to sleep.
My husband is crazy about her and loves it when she sleeps/cuddles in bed.
Unfortunately, she leaks urine in the bed, soaking through the sheets and mattress pad — and I am now continuously washing bed linen. It smells terrible!
I washed everything yesterday, and this morning everything was soaked, stained and smelly again.
My husband says I am being too picky about things in the house.
Am I crazy that I don’t want to sleep with the smell of dog urine?
Shouldn’t our pup be crated at night?
— Hates the Smell
Dear Hates: If you are waking up to urine-soaked bedding, you should assume that your dog is doing more than “leaking.” A young and healthy dog should not be leaking urine.
Your puppy seems to be peeing in the bed. I assume that she leaves your bed and retreats to her crate because, like you, she does not want to lie in urine.
The most obvious solution would be for your husband to take this precious baby out to pee one last time before bedtime.
I ran your question past Dr. Lacey Rosenberg, a veterinarian with Cornell University (who when I caught up with her was treating dogs at the Westminster Dog Show). Dr. Rosenberg emphasized, “If you have not already seen a veterinary professional regarding your dog’s incontinence, it is important to see someone soon.”
Yes, you have the right to wake up in a urine-free bed. Yes, your pup should sleep in her own bed.
The fact that you are posing this question at all means that you and your husband are on vastly different planes regarding the dog, and — I assume — other things.
Dear Amy: My 14-year-old son has a group of friends that routinely gets together on Friday and Saturday nights at each other’s homes.
The kids take turns hosting, but nothing is set in stone in terms of a rotation, etc. The group size varies between four to six kids.
The issue is that one kid never hosts and never offers to host.
This has been going on for well over a year. It is clearly not a question of money or too small of a house or parent/sibling chronic illness, or broken home, etc.
I’m frankly sick of it.
Recently I told my son to tell this kid that it’s his turn to host (this was communicated via text message when the boys were making plans for that evening).
The boy responded that his parents were out of town. My son tells me that he and the other boys talk about the issue, but not in front of the no-host kid.
I know the mom, but not well.
What would you suggest? — Fed Up Parent
Dear Fed Up: You absolutely do not want your son and his friends to spend the night at the home of parents who a) aren’t home, or b) don’t want them.
Fourteen-year-olds are not in charge of overnights at their households. You should not pressure your son to pressure this boy to host this revolving overnight.
You should assume that this particular teen probably has a very good reason (probably overlapping reasons) not to want to host this group. His folks might be hoarders, drinkers, disruptive, ill, abusive, night-shift workers or — any combination of a myriad of possibilities.
This friendship with this particular friend group might be the very best thing in this boy’s life, and his presence in your (and other) homes might be a lifesaver for him.
I know it’s a lot of work. I know it’s an annoying burden. But within a couple of years, all of this will be over. I hope you will continue to model generous and loving parenting — whenever possible — to your son and his friends.
Dear Amy: Your response to “Bad Friend,” who was fed up with her friend’s complaining (about how difficult the first year has been with baby twin boys) was spot on!
My daughter gave birth to (spontaneously conceived) triplets 16 years ago.
The first year was VERY difficult, even with lots of help.
We did not realize until later that she was suffering from postpartum depression. The kids are now beautiful, healthy teenagers and we couldn’t be prouder of them! — Sharon, in California
Dear Sharon: That first year with multiples is really about survival.