I’m constantly seeking to coin a phrase that might one day provide a legacy to my contributions in society.
It’s been an ongoing process during a number of years, dating back to high school when I was known for saying, “Whoa,” at most any situation.
Luckily, I’ve grown past those days, when people looked at me strangely for reciting single- syllable sayings.
They still look at me strangely, but today, it’s for a number of other reasons.
Anyway, I’ve amassed several personal quotes — sometimes adding new ones more than once during a typical day.
There was the time I smashed my forehead with a flying hammer, causing a concussion.
But, “!$@#%%@$%^$#^ ... OUCH!!” didn’t seem like something anyone would remember to say until they also were traumatized by flying hardware.
Another phrase that never really caught on was, “Huh?”
On numerous occasions I relied on it when I wanted to make sure I really heard my wife correctly.
My wife: “I thought you were going to dump the grass clippings.”
Me: “Huh?”
While other wives may believe the phrase was adopted by their spouses, I honestly can’t take credit for it.
For all I know, my dad actually was it’s originator.
In the course of a typical workweek, I often rely on phrases to indicate excitement, achievement or when trying to remain politically correct in conversation.
“My goal for mass chaos is nearly complete,” I’ve said countless times, when I see the eyes of co-workers glazing over after a difficult day.
I’m including a cross-section of a few other phrases I may not have coined, but used during the years.
In some cases, I still use them.
“You won’t have me to kick around, anymore.”
“I have a sitcom mind in a reality television world.”
“Directions? I don’t need directions. I know exactly where we’re at.”
“Make yourself right at home, and feel free to vacuum the floor.”
“I love snakes — especially in boot form.”
“If only my train of thought had a caboose.”
“I went to the school of hard knocks. It might help explain why I’m like I am.”
“Meals like this are why I’m a recipient of the Cast Iron Stomach award.”
“Even if (insert politician’s name here) had a brain, he would just take it out and play with it.”
