Sometimes, children say things that are nothing short of cute and inspirational, making parents beam with pride.
Other times, parents wish for a well-placed muzzle.
The latter was the case last week.
My son was attending a Cub Scout meeting in a church basement when the den leader asked them to think about bears because they’re “bear Scouts.”
Since the boys already were aware bears hibernated during the winter, she asked what kind of sounds a bear might make.
“Do you think they snore?” she asked. “Have you ever heard someone snoring?”
There were a couple of nods, but mostly silence. I took this to mean the boys were in deep contemplation, or merely waiting for game time, instead.
Apparently, those few moments of quietness were a cue for my son, who announced in a larger-than-life voice, “My dad snores so loud I can hear him in my room. He’s really loud.”
There were a few snickers, followed by several sets of eyes focused on me.
It was as if they thought I might instantly fall into a deep sleep while sitting in a chair, thus proving his statement true.
As I peered at the group, I was reminded of what it might look like to a tiny field mouse as hawks circled overhead.
It was during those same moments, I tried to imagine whether I might easily slither beneath the door simply out of humiliation.
But my son’s statement also got me thinking.
So, the next day, in an effort to learn more about the affliction so I could benefit others, I spent several hours of company time surfing the Internet.
Through that exhaustive research, I learned a number of things — including the name of the little dangly thing in the back of a person’s throat that looks like a tiny speed bag from a gym where really small people trained to be boxers.
Known as the uvula, it sometimes rattles when a person relaxes, causing snoring.
One day that information could come in handy if I’m asked to be a contestant on the game show Jeopardy.
Until then, however, I’ll try to use it in everyday conversation.
“Wow. That hot coffee I just drank scorched my uvula.”
Scientists say the function of sleep is not entirely clear, but they believe rapid-eye-movement (REM) sleep is important to solidifying memories.
