Did you ever have one of those days? Not just any day, but one of “those” days, when little things aren’t quite right?
Well, how about when you were washing the dishes and you slopped soapy water on yourself because you’re in a hurry? And it wasn’t just a dab or two, but splashed all over your front and now you have to change your clothes before someone gets the wrong impression – and you’d better put those slacks in the washing machine, so you may as well do a full load while you’re there, and it looks like washing the dishes is turning into a ‘half the day’ job, and you want to get back to the television and relax a little before the end of the program, which won’t make much sense because you’ve missed the important part.
Okay, let’s try another.
How about the time your honeybabe wanted to hang a picture?
You have to remember where you put the hammer, because it’s not on the workbench where it ought to be, then you have to find the right size of nail (I know I’ve got one of those somewhere), you have to doublecheck to be sure you’re hanging it in ‘just the right spot’, and that’s when you learn – not for the first time – that the hammer is harder than your thumb!
How about that one? Does it ring a bell, or are there too many painful memories and you wish you’d never ever heard of a hammer, let alone try to use one – especially when someone else is looking – and you won’t admit it in the first place until it turns purple?
Yeah, one of those days, when you can’t even pour yourself a cup of coffee without getting it too full, so you can’t even stir in the sugar or cream, and it’s too hot to just lean over and take a sip or two, so there’s nothing to do but wait it out for a few minutes, which is frustrating because it’s that kind of day and you really could use a jolt or two to get your day started, and now it’s going to be cold when you get back to it, since you had to answer the phone and it turned out to be one of those computer-generated calls, and there’s nobody there to talk to anyway, because that so-and-so computer hung up the moment you picked up the phone and tried to answer!
And your “streak” continues, because you started something else while you’re waiting, and when you get back to it, the coffee is definitely cold?
"Sure," you think, "I should have expected that, Oh well, no big deal, but I sure hope things start looking up." – and they don’t?
Right on schedule, just as if the whole day is preplanned with stuff that would bring a lesser person to his knees, things just keep cropping up, but since there’s no avoiding them, you just set your mind to dealing with it and slog ahead, just to get it done with.
And let’s not forget the time you were dispatched to the grocery store when your better half discovered she was missing one ingredient. Sure, you didn’t want to go, but she was making your favorite chocolate chip raisin cookies, and when you got back, you find you’ve bought the wrong one, and that means another trip to the store, which also means you’ll have to wait a little longer before the cookies are ready.
Of course, this doesn’t happen every time – just often enough to be annoying, like the other day when you spent half the day firing up the barbecue grill, had everything timed just right, and had the job half done when one of the inlaws called, and you answered instead of letting your better half do it, and it was the one who never got off the phone under eight minutes in all his life,
And by the time he did, your medium-rare steak was now looking like a piece of vulcanized rubber that you wouldn’t feed to your dog – not even the neighbor’s dog – the one that won’t stop barking every other night?
Oh well. Take a deep breath and start again.
This can’t last forever.
— Newton columnist Mike Morton writes weekly for the Kansan. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org