As has become a custom at this time of year (and since there are already dozens of seasonal customs, why can’t we add another?), the time has rolled around for a look at the myriad catalogs that arrive in our mailbox from companies we otherwise wouldn’t have heard from.

Not everybody has these things — and you’re about to see why. Just look at the whatzits they’re offering this year.

• Leading the list of Things We Can Get By Without is (and I’m not kidding) The Indoor Dog Restroom. Yep. Just what it says, for when Fido won’t go out in the winter.

You don’t really need to know any more about it except the price — $150 — when you could just firmly shoo him outside for free.

• Texas Hold’em players might like the Playing Card Shooter. Battery-operated, it shoots one card at a time up to five feet across the table for a mere $29.95. Take it out of your winnings.

• How about an Instant Wine Chiller? You place this doodad in the freezer and, when it’s time to pour the wine, slip it around the bottle’s neck, where it will cool the wine as it passes through.

Only $39.95, or you could have put the wine in the fridge in the first place.

• Something a little more racy? For the extreme sports enthusiast, try the sexy-looking Alpine Racing Sled, complete with a built-in shock absorber, a suspension spring and even a handbrake.

However, you’d better move someplace where there’s lots of snow to justify the $900 price tag — which is why I said “extreme.”

• For the indoor type, try a Personal Widescreen Movie Theater. Well, not really. It just looks like it — a pair of special glasses that projects on their inside surface what looks like a 56-inch TV screen in front of your eyes when hooked to an iPod, or whatever. It runs on just one AA battery and will set you back only $250 — plus the iPod, of course.

• Even more relaxing would be the Crossword Puzzle Pajamas, which look just like a legitimate puzzle, costing $90 — but you can solve this puzzle only once, of course.

• For the mechanically minded who also like unique playthings, get him a Desktop Stirling Engine — a real, working, closed-cycle model that runs on heat alone! Just light the alcohol burner, and watch ‘er go!

Solid brass and 24K gold plated, you provide the alcohol, plus $380, and the fun begins.

• If your budget is somewhat looser — let’s face it, a whole lot looser — you could get Junior the gift to end all gifts.

This is a scaled-down Classic Chevy Corvette looking exactly like the full-size original, racing stripes and all, but just his size at 9 feet long with a 6.9 horsepower gasoline four-stroke engine.

If you have a spare $32,000 to spend, here you are.

But one word of caution. If he’s liable to run away from home, don’t give him one of these. You’ll never catch him.

• On the more practical side, how about The Cramp-Free Pen?

No big deal, but looks like it really could work. It’s designed to fit your hand more comfortably, and that’s about the end of it.

It looks kinda funny, but relieves the stress of writing for long periods of time, and it’s only $29.95, including two refills.

If you write longer than that, you’ll have to provide more refills yourself.

• For someone who likes to tinker, check out the Ten In One Ride-on Kit, which features 195 components to combine in different ways.

With this baby, you can fabricate 10 different ride-on vehicles; bicycles, scooters, choppers and even a helicopter!

It’ll keep any kid of any age (up to 12 years old and 110 pounds) occupied and out of your hair for days on end, so at $500 this may be a bargain in peace and quiet alone!

• Our final item on this year’s list is for pure luxury — a pair of cashmere lounging pants.

Real cashmere wool from real cashmere goats from Inner Mongolia, no kidding — which explains why a single pair of lounging pants (without even a belt, just a drawstring) costs 250 smackeroos!

Now that’s lounging! (You can lounge until the bills start coming in.)

That’s it. Something for everyone — and now you see why I waited until after Christmas to tell you about them.

Mike Morton writes each week for the Kansan. He can be reached at m24r24fm8445@att.net. Mike’s book, “On The Loose Collection, Volume One” is on sale in Newton at the Kansan, 121 W. Sixth St.; and Anderson Book and Office Supply, 627 N. Main St