Oh, man! Look at all the things I have to do!

Yeah. Thatís what I get for putting them off, and now Iím not sure Iíll ever get them all done.

There are so many, maybe Iíd better start by making a list.

First the lawn needs mowing, and that means I have to go and get some gas for the mower, and since I forgot to clean up the mower last time, maybe Iíd better start with that.

Then of course I canít mow the lawn without edging it too, for Peteís sake.

After all, we donít want the neighbors thinking weíre sloppy over here, do we?

Thatís at least an hourís worth right there, and another half-hour of cleanup afterwards.

Next, how about those loose bolts on the porch railing?

Theyíve been rattling and squeaking a little more and a little more for months now, but never enough to make it worth the time to get out the wrenches and tighten them once and for all, but this looks like a good time, since Iíve worked up a head of steam, so letís make that Item No. 2.

After all, nobody likes a shaky porch railing.

Come to think of it, Item No. 3 will be a couple of boards on the back porch where the paint is beginning to look worn, so Iíd better add sandpaper, a quart of porch enamel, a brush and some thinner for cleanup to the list.

The storm door squeaks, too, so letís not forget the oil can while Iím thinking of it.

Of course, thatís not enough to be a separate item, but weíll just throw it in to the general mix and get it out of the way.

Oh-oh! The storm door window is all streaky, and so is the picture window, and we canít have that when the inlaws are coming to visit next week, so letís just get it out of the way.

Hmmm. I wonder how birds can mess up a vertical piece of glass like that?

Thatís gotta take some fancy kind of flying! They must be acrobatic, or something.

Iíd like to see that sometime, but right now, Iíd better get back on track.

These few chores oughta keep me busy all day, so, moving on, what equipment will I need?

Gas can for the mower, the hose to wash it down, and the same for the edger.

Pliers and wrenches to tighten the railing, the sandpaper, paint, brush and thinner for the porch, a bucket of water/ammonia mix to clean windows, plus a couple of nice soft cloths to dry them with.

Almost ready.

Now for a little planning.

The lawn, the mower, the edging, and the cleanup will take me right up to coffee break time, then tightening up the porch railing and that little painting job will use up the rest of the morning, and itíll be time for lunch.

After lunch, weíll start by getting rid of that storm door squeak, then disassemble the door windows and clean the glass inside and out, which always takes twice as long, since you always get a couple of stubborn streaks.

Reassemble, and then move on to the picture window, which will take even longer, since I canít take it apart, but have to trot inside and back outside a few times to see where the streaks are and then go out again to clean them off, and thatís going to pretty well poop me out.

Which means a timeout to catch my breath and cool down with a tall, frosty lemonade.

Then I have to put all this stuff away.

Anything else?

If I have time, how about trimming those six or seven branches over the front walk?

You know, the ones we have to duck every time we go out to get the morning paper?

Yeah, thatíd be nice, and then I think weíll call it quits.

All caught up ó for now.

Looks like a good dayís work from here.

So now weíre all set, but making up this list has me exhausted!

Right now, I need a rest.

Iíll start on this stuff tomorrow ó if it doesnít rain.

And thatís why they didnít get done in the first place.

Mike Morton writes each week for the Kansan. He can be reached at m24r24fm8445@att.net. Mikeís book, ďOn The Loose Collection, Volume One,Ē is on sale in Newton at the Kansan, 121 W. Sixth St.; and Andersonís Book and Office Supply, 627 N. Main St.